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EXPLOITS OF THE VOLEQUEEN

On Being Creative, A Mother & Bipolar

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christmas

Plugging Art for Pledges!

As you probably all know I am currently crowdfunding my novel, Blood On The Banana Leaf, on Unbound, the literary crowdfunding platform.  I am on 45% with nearly 100 supporters already but really need to push through to 50 percent.

So, two things really.  Firstly, if you pledge for the novel on my Page before the 18:00 GMT on 24th December you will be in with a chance of winning one of two original Christmas Flower prints designed by me!  In any size and in any colour variations (frame not included).  Just show me proof of the pledge!  Good Luck!

grandma-flowerAnd secondly, back by popular demand, I have started making my personal lyric posters again.  Any words will do.  Could be song lyrics, a poem, the start of a famous novel or even an excerpt of Winston Churchill’s ‘fight them on the beaches’ speech.  I  can turn any words into a completely unique and thoughtful present (Christmas is still coming!) which look awesome when hung on your walls.

If you pledge any amount on my Unbound page not only will you get your name in the back of the book when it is finally published BUT you will also get your choice of lyric poster for free.  This offer will run until December 31st (frames not included).  Check out the two examples below.  They really are special.

 

farv-present

 

muv-lyrics

One of the most lovely things is seeing my writing supporters on my pledge page and knowing that you will be immortalised (in the literary sense!) once my book is published. Because we are doing it together.

Thank you so much.

Love, Tabby x

Waitrose Christmas Shopping

(This should be shouted raucously after a few glasses to the music of Three Wise Men)

We three men from Waitrose, we are

Bringing your shopping, from afar

Things are tricky

Stan took a sicky

Delays of up to half an hour

 

(Chorus)

Sauces are leaking out the box

The Ham is off and smells of socks

The Christmas Pudding isn’t good looking

But you still got the blinis and masses of lox.

 

We know that we are top of the heap

Essentials range are yummy to eat.

Avocados, sod the embargos

We even have some sugarless beets.

 

(Chorus)

We’ve missed the Seville marmalade

Off your order, sorry to say.

Our cloves are spicy, parsnips pricey

The Oloroso won’t last the day.

 

 

What do you mean the butter won’t do?

It’s got black sea salt and cumin too

The honey has sunshine, goji and red wine

You haven’t got a chance in hell to sue.

 

(Chorus)

I’ve had enough of it all today

I’ve tried my best to navigate

Your culinary leanings have no meanings

I’m off to the pub, will stay til’ May.

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